Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hello, I am being blunt now.


Inspired by the most recent post on Mormon Bachelor Pad, I decided to be a little bit more specific about what happened with that guy and I.

If you're read their recent post, you will understand a little better.

There was a fair amount of number 7 going on, and things got up to a number 8 on their self-created "N.O.T.I. Scale." AKA, he got a boner, started dry humping me, and after a minute, I stopped things with my excuse of "I have to go now, I have to wake up early in the morning, blah blah blah."

So, any new sorts of opinions then, in terms of going to the Bishop?

I've already decided what I'm going to do/not do. I'm just curious as to what everyone else thinks.

I'll post an update of what my decision is after a day or so, to give you a chance to give your input if you so desire. Talk to you then.

Monday, August 2, 2010

So, I can check black Dominican Baseball Player off my List.

The List I'm referring to is that of the "People I need to make out with before I die" List.

The one that doesn't exist. Sarcasm, people. Calm down. Its a joke.

Feel free to judge me as I tell you the following story.

I have a roommate. A roommate that gets a lot more action than me. A little surprisingly, to add. She's got some kind of way with guys that just draws them to her and gets them to make out with her. We'll refer to her as Andi.

Anyways. Sometimes these skills come in handy. I don't always have to play wingman to her, you know. Every now and then things pan out for me too.

A week or so ago, on a Thursday night, I've just come back from a date. I saw the movie 'Inception' with a boy from a class I'm in. Great Movie by the way. The date, ehh, it certainly wasn't bad.

Andi comes into the apartment around midnight, about half an hour after I've gotten back. I'm brushing my teeth at the sink in the hallway bathroom, and she stops in front of me, her eyes bright.

"Hey, Tacey! I've just met these baseball players at a diner downtown. They asked for my number, then they invited me to go to their hotel just now. Do you want to come?"
As an almost afterthought, she added quickly, "They're buff and super attractive."

I stood there for a second, thinking it over in my head, my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth.

"..... Hells yeah! Okay, sure, why not."

I brushed my hair and slapped some lipgloss on, then she and I headed over to the hotel.

So you're probably judging me by now. And thats cool. In retrospect, it sounds pretty dang shady to do. The whole, 'going to a stranger's hotel room in the middle of the night' thing, that is.

Well, part of me wanted to go with Andi, out of feeling of being protective of her. She doesn't have the best judgement sometimes, and I know there are certain things she will and won't do while I'm around. And I could tell she was slightly nervous too, but wanted to go anyways. Safety in numbers, you know?

So we go to their hotel, and head up to their room number. There I meet three minor league baseball players-- two Cubans (brothers, actually) and a Dominican who speaks little English. We'll call them Danny, Mario, and Tino, respectively.

Well, Danny and Andi have obviously hit it off. We all are hanging out together, but he and she somehow or another end up on his bed as we have the movie 'The Hangover' on TV. Not surprisingly, they're making out at one point. Eventually, Mario leaves to go sleep in a quieter room, since it was apparent that we weren't going to be quiet any time soon.

This all goes on for a while. The entire time that i goes on for, Tino is hitting on me, hard. He compliments me, talks to me in Spanish, tells me that the fact that I understand it and speak it makes me "particularly beautiful." (I'm part Mexican and fluent in it.) I more or less reject him, humoring him every now and then, letting him dance with me a bit, but not really letting him get anywhere.

Eventually, Andi decides its time to leave, since its getting to be around 2:30 in the morning, so she gets up and she and Danny run around the corner to the front of the room door. I get up and Tino gets up too. We stand there for a second, giving them a little time to get all the mackin out of their system. After a moment, he gets up really close next to me, and to my own surprise, I don't move away. He puts the moves on again, brushing his hand up and down my arm, and asks when he's going to see me again. I tell him maybe later, since we had plans to go to their game the next night (Free Tickets, Holla.) He gives me a "Hmm." Then he suddenly pulls me close to him and says thoughtfully, "Tienes una boca linda," meaning, "You have a beautiful mouth."

Here's the thing. I am a sucker for sweet talk, no matter how transparent or cheesy or stupid it is. So, after about half a second of considering my options, I decide to give in.

Annnnnnd then we were making out.

You know. It happens sometimes.

We only make out for about ten minutes or so. Andi later told me that she and Danny were peeking around the corner laughing at us. Eh, Whatever. Haha.

So she and I go to their baseball game the next night, which they lost. But it was still fun. At one point practically half the team poked their heads out from under the dugout, above which we were sitting, and stared at us for a moment as Tino and Danny pointed us out. Literally, pointed. It was partially embarrassing, but eh, what're you gonna do. It was funny when the coach ended up taking a peek at us, and giving us a wave and shake of the head as Danny laughed behind him.

Later that night, a few hours after the game, we go back to their hotel, since they're leaving the next day. She and Danny get back to business, making out on the bed, and after a lovely awkward 15 minutes or so, Tino comes in and pulls me out of the room. Andi laughs at me and tells me to text her if I need her.

Tino takes me into his hotel room, saying he wants me to meet his roommate. The roommate in question is laying in bed already, and gives me a quick smile and "Hello." Tino says to him, "See, I told you she was beautiful, right?" and he nods with a smile as I give an "Aw, shucks." After a moment, the roommate promptly rolls over and goes to sleep.

Tino and I are watching a movie on his laptop on the bed. Somehow, we end up shifting and our heads are on the pillows. Of course, this leads to making out. The kissing is alright, he's a pretty good kisser. Honestly, I'd never kissed a black guy before, and let me tell you, they have huge lips. Not that thats a bad thing! Just an observation. Its an interesting sensation, really. So we're kissing, and somehow or another he ends up on top of me. I guess I saw it coming. I mean, we were on a bed after all. There's not a whole lot of positions to make out in whilst on a bed.

Something strange-- At one point, he decided it would be fun to stick his tongue in my ear. Literally in my ear. Now I've done my fair share of making out, and have never experienced that before. Its very strange. I honestly just don't get the appeal of it. Whats so sexual about the ear? Does it taste good or something?? I just don't understand. But whatever. It was just odd I guess.

We keep making out for about 45 minutes. I forced myself out of there at one point. The situation was just... going downhill. I realized this when I noticed, as he was on top of me, that he actually had... gotten a little excited. You know what I mean? It was not good for me to be in in general. Things were going in a bad direction in general. If I hadn't pulled out of there when I did, bad things would have happened.

So basically now I have a dilemma. I'm attempting to decide whether or not I need to talk to my bishop about it. Now don't have an aneurysm. We didn't have sex of any kind. No genitalia made any appearances in the open air. But I am still trying t decide whether or not I feel guilty about it.

I guess my problem is, Should I feel guilty? I know what went on was bad, but I'm having difficulty trying to determine... if I have sinned? I don't exactly know how to word this I guess. I don't know. I'm giving it about another week and then I'll see how I feel.

Don't worry, I'm praying about it, etc etc. Its not the hugest deal to me, just something that kind of has been sitting in the back of my head. I don't feel unworthy to do anything, you know? I don't feel like its upsetting my everyday life or anything. I'm just not sure. Eh, I will give it time and see what I think.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Sometimes I am KIND of a slut.

Not in the "go talk to your bishop" kind of way.

More in the "I'm leaving in less than a week, Oh wait, first lets make out with this boy, ok fun, oh wait, lets make out with this other boy real quick, ok awesome" kind of way.

Basically, I met this one guy at a YSA conference recently, and we seemed to mesh pretty well, so we went on a date. After the date, we sat outside, and all of a sudden, I was gettin macked on. Not initiated by me. Just sayin.

We see this boy all through the next weekend as well, and perhaps make out with him once or twice more. Not the best kisser in the world, but not unpleasant.

BOOM. Welcome to Monday, the day after the last make out with first boy.
We are at an activity with a group of people, watching a movie on an inflatable screen on a friends lawn. We get to talking to a friend, new boy, who we've actually known for a while. Turns out that second boy made out with friend of first boy, coincidentally while first boy and I were making out outside the night before, they were mackin inside. This is discussed, we are amused, and laugh at the predicament. Suddenly, second boy decides to get all flirty, and somehow or another, we end up spooning on a blanket in the back. He asks if I want to go to a baseball game the next night. I say yes. Plans are made.

The next night arrives, we go to the baseball game, and don't get back until late, due to traffic and delays in the game. There is a whole heckuva lot of physical flirting, a little bit of holding hands, a lot of goofing off involved.

In the car on the way home, sitting in the parking lot, he says to me, "I want to kiss you."

I say to him, "Hmm. Is that so."

Cue flirty banter all the drive home.

We pull up in front of my house, and sit there for a minute, talking a bit. Somehow or another, he leans in for the kiss, and I meet him.

Cue make out for the next half hour or so. Enjoy make out. I decided it was sufficiently better than the one I had participated in with first boy. His kisses were too wet and slobbery. Second boy's had a liiittle too much tongue at times, but at least I didn't have to wipe my mouth off afterwards. Whew.

Not to mention first boy didn't give me goosebumps. And Second guy did.

You guys, this is not something I do a whole lot of... making out with so many guys in such a relatively short period. It don't generally work that way. I promise.

But hey. Everyday is a new experience. Live on the edge, enjoy life as it comes to you, and make the most of it.

The most of mine seems to be involving mackin. And that is A'OK by me.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Big Deal, what is it?

I remember my first kiss very vividly.

It was outside of the church building, of all places, and the guy and I had a small fire going on top of a rock. We were talking, and as we were conversing, he paused once or twice at lulls in the conversation to kiss my cheek or the top of my head.

Honestly, it was a little funky to me, because I hadn't felt that supposed 'spark' or 'desire' or whatever that supposedly you're supposed to feel according to tv and chick lit and all that junk. But I rolled with it I guess.

As we talked, and kept the fire going, There was a another lull, and I leaned slightly into him as we both sat on a rock across from the fire. A moment after I did, he turned a bit and pressed his head into my neck and started kissing me. Hard. And Loudly. And honestly, a liiiittle bit wetly.

I was totally taken aback. But I didn't know what to do, so I let him go for it, sort of swaying with him as he kissed me for a few seconds. He worked his way up and around my neck and ear, making his way to my face, and eventually, I turned my head the slightest bit and met his mouth.

Good Lord, it was terrifying.
And yet super exhilarating.

I wasn't sure if I liked it, weirdly enough.
It was a pretty wet kiss, and I was new at this. Haha. Not to mention he was already trying to slip some tongue in there. I mean, guess he didn't exactly know that it was my first kiss.

And yet, after a few moments, I quickly adjusted into the situation, and found myself actively engaging in a pretty sweet make out session.

After a few hours (not kidding) I was at home once more, and I sat in my bed, reminiscing.
My main thought was, 'what's the big deal about kissing?' Its odd and awkward and warm and wet and I have a weird beard burn all up on my face and neck and shoulders.

Of course, eventually I realized that its not necessarily about the kissing so much as it is about who you're kissing, and what kind of connection you feel with them that makes it really pleasurable.

And so, if you find yourself reading this, wondering why you weren't digging on a kiss, keep on keeping on. Because, trust me, once you've found a great partner for mackin, you won't have any difficulty at all enjoying yourself.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Lets Be Honest Here.

The mormon in me is popping out today.

I was just thinking, there are sooooooooooooooooo many reasons not to have sex before you're married.

STDs... syphillis. gonorrhea. herpes. and all those other sicknasty names that go along with sicknasty who knows whats going on down south. I mean, if you don't have it, then you won't get them. And if you wait til you're married, and whoever you marry has waited, then you 100% don't have to worry about them. Its great.

Pregnancy. I mean, I can hardly think about having kids even when I am married. The stuff it does to your body... the whole "I'm responsible for another life for at least 18 years" thing... the whole "I've gotta push a large baby out my vag" doesn't exactly do it for me. I certainly plan on waiting once I get married for at least a time to have kids, so why in the world would I want to risk it before I can even support myself as part of a couple? No thank you.

Basically, there are plenty of reasons to wait. And frankly, I think I will. KThxBye.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


If you haven't noticed, we Mormons are big fans of using acronyms.

For example, BYU, LDS, BOM, DTR, and the infamous NCMO.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, NCMO is an acronym for Non-Committal Make Out.

Mormons love making out. I mean, just check out Mormon Bachelor Pad's blog. That in and of itself is evidence enough. Not to mention the increasing popularity of Mormon dating blogs lately. They seem to just be popping up all over the place.
I do not market this as a Mormon dating blog. I may on occasion every now and then document a date or boyfriend or ex, but that is not the principal purpose. Its really more of a venting and opinion stating place where I poke fun and criticize stereotypes etc etc. You get the picture.
***disclaimer end***

I am in support of the concept, and have myself participated in a NCMO in the past.

I have also been criticized for said involvement.

My belief is that, regardless of what others may think, Everyone would be a little better off is they themselves participated in a NCMO every now and then. Especially some Mormons.

Mormons have this bizarre, ultra suppressed sexuality. It likely comes from the fact that, for pretty much our entire lives, we are forced to suppress ourselves. We're taught that every little sexual desire or feeling is bad bad bad, and we're terrible sinners for feeling the slightest bit of lust after anyone. And then, when we do actually get married, that ultimate quintessential goal that we're raised to believe is THE big thing that we all want no matter what, we go from believing that sexual anything is bad/evil/lusting, to being told we have to engage in it immediately. And not only that, we're expected to procreate practically immediately.

Tell me you don't see something wrong with this.

Now, don't quote me on this, but I heard from a friend who supposedly read a study that said that BYU nearly fifty percent of both genders of students at BYU had admitted anonymously to masturbation at some point in their lives. Now I don't know how accurate this is, but if it is true, well, yeah. Its because we are so intensely frustrated with our sexuality, who can blame them, really?

Therefore, I prefer to indulge in a nice, calming make out once in a while. I don't exactly go out and make out with someone new every weekend or anything, but I am sooooo not about to let myself go crazy, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm scandalous, if you wanted to know.

I have something that my mormon friends would gasp and raise eyebrows at.

My non member friends would raise eyebrows too, but in a "You're telling me this Whyyyy?" manner.

I own a bikini.

I bought it at Target for $3 a piece each for the top and bottom on supermegaultra clearance. If you are wondering, it is a string bikini with pink, blue, and yellow plaid stripey things on a white background. It has little ruffles on the top. Heh heh.

I have never actually worn it in public. I bought it on a whim one day when I was driving around town without anything better to do.

Thats right. I bought a bikini out of boredom. So sue me.

Let me tell you something.

If I told my mormon friends, whether at school or the like, I would be severely chastised. I do find this hilarious. I mean, honestly? You have nothing better to do with your time than tell me I should be wearing an extra quarter yard of spandex? Ohhh, I am SOOOOOOO sorry. I forgot how much this personally affects you.

Oh wait. Thats right. It doesn't.

This may sound conceited: I have it because I feel sexy in it. Like, super sexy. Now you may say, why not just chill in your bedroom in you underwear? Its pretty much the same effect, right?

Negative. I can't quite explain it, which is why I sound like a crazy person a little bit, but it really is not the same. I think its more of the allure of the idea that potentially, people would see me wearing it.

I'm not gonna lie, I do have a pretty hot body. Like I said, I'll probably sound somewhat conceited here. But hey. If you got it, flaunt it and all that jazz. But like every other female in, um, pretty much the entire world, I don't remember that a lot of the time. So why not take a minute and remind myself that, hey, I am kind of beautiful? No negative there, my friends. None there.

I'll be honest with you. I'm probably going to wear it to the beach or something at least once this summer. And no, I don't consider it the start of my descent into the layers of Hell. I'll likely just wear it once or twice to lay out. Ehh, whatever.

So feel free to judge away, Mormons of the World. Go freaking for it. :)