Sunday, May 16, 2010

Lets Be Honest Here.

The mormon in me is popping out today.

I was just thinking, there are sooooooooooooooooo many reasons not to have sex before you're married.

STDs... syphillis. gonorrhea. herpes. and all those other sicknasty names that go along with sicknasty who knows whats going on down south. I mean, if you don't have it, then you won't get them. And if you wait til you're married, and whoever you marry has waited, then you 100% don't have to worry about them. Its great.

Pregnancy. I mean, I can hardly think about having kids even when I am married. The stuff it does to your body... the whole "I'm responsible for another life for at least 18 years" thing... the whole "I've gotta push a large baby out my vag" doesn't exactly do it for me. I certainly plan on waiting once I get married for at least a time to have kids, so why in the world would I want to risk it before I can even support myself as part of a couple? No thank you.

Basically, there are plenty of reasons to wait. And frankly, I think I will. KThxBye.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


If you haven't noticed, we Mormons are big fans of using acronyms.

For example, BYU, LDS, BOM, DTR, and the infamous NCMO.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, NCMO is an acronym for Non-Committal Make Out.

Mormons love making out. I mean, just check out Mormon Bachelor Pad's blog. That in and of itself is evidence enough. Not to mention the increasing popularity of Mormon dating blogs lately. They seem to just be popping up all over the place.
I do not market this as a Mormon dating blog. I may on occasion every now and then document a date or boyfriend or ex, but that is not the principal purpose. Its really more of a venting and opinion stating place where I poke fun and criticize stereotypes etc etc. You get the picture.
***disclaimer end***

I am in support of the concept, and have myself participated in a NCMO in the past.

I have also been criticized for said involvement.

My belief is that, regardless of what others may think, Everyone would be a little better off is they themselves participated in a NCMO every now and then. Especially some Mormons.

Mormons have this bizarre, ultra suppressed sexuality. It likely comes from the fact that, for pretty much our entire lives, we are forced to suppress ourselves. We're taught that every little sexual desire or feeling is bad bad bad, and we're terrible sinners for feeling the slightest bit of lust after anyone. And then, when we do actually get married, that ultimate quintessential goal that we're raised to believe is THE big thing that we all want no matter what, we go from believing that sexual anything is bad/evil/lusting, to being told we have to engage in it immediately. And not only that, we're expected to procreate practically immediately.

Tell me you don't see something wrong with this.

Now, don't quote me on this, but I heard from a friend who supposedly read a study that said that BYU nearly fifty percent of both genders of students at BYU had admitted anonymously to masturbation at some point in their lives. Now I don't know how accurate this is, but if it is true, well, yeah. Its because we are so intensely frustrated with our sexuality, who can blame them, really?

Therefore, I prefer to indulge in a nice, calming make out once in a while. I don't exactly go out and make out with someone new every weekend or anything, but I am sooooo not about to let myself go crazy, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm scandalous, if you wanted to know.

I have something that my mormon friends would gasp and raise eyebrows at.

My non member friends would raise eyebrows too, but in a "You're telling me this Whyyyy?" manner.

I own a bikini.

I bought it at Target for $3 a piece each for the top and bottom on supermegaultra clearance. If you are wondering, it is a string bikini with pink, blue, and yellow plaid stripey things on a white background. It has little ruffles on the top. Heh heh.

I have never actually worn it in public. I bought it on a whim one day when I was driving around town without anything better to do.

Thats right. I bought a bikini out of boredom. So sue me.

Let me tell you something.

If I told my mormon friends, whether at school or the like, I would be severely chastised. I do find this hilarious. I mean, honestly? You have nothing better to do with your time than tell me I should be wearing an extra quarter yard of spandex? Ohhh, I am SOOOOOOO sorry. I forgot how much this personally affects you.

Oh wait. Thats right. It doesn't.

This may sound conceited: I have it because I feel sexy in it. Like, super sexy. Now you may say, why not just chill in your bedroom in you underwear? Its pretty much the same effect, right?

Negative. I can't quite explain it, which is why I sound like a crazy person a little bit, but it really is not the same. I think its more of the allure of the idea that potentially, people would see me wearing it.

I'm not gonna lie, I do have a pretty hot body. Like I said, I'll probably sound somewhat conceited here. But hey. If you got it, flaunt it and all that jazz. But like every other female in, um, pretty much the entire world, I don't remember that a lot of the time. So why not take a minute and remind myself that, hey, I am kind of beautiful? No negative there, my friends. None there.

I'll be honest with you. I'm probably going to wear it to the beach or something at least once this summer. And no, I don't consider it the start of my descent into the layers of Hell. I'll likely just wear it once or twice to lay out. Ehh, whatever.

So feel free to judge away, Mormons of the World. Go freaking for it. :)